So apparently CNBC's blowdried talking head Erin Burnett penned an article for Men's Health a while back on eight ways to impress her, should you wish to snuggle up to the "Street Sweetie." (What? "Money Honey" was already taken, and we gotta differentiate these gals somehow.)
Now, I'm not sure I should use the words "gold-digging", "greedy", or "entitlement complex" around La Burnett, but some of these ideas for impressing her seem to come down to one thing:
3. Do Something Special for My Parents
Family is important to me, so round-trip business-class tickets to Australia and New Zealand for my parents would earn you big points in my book.
4. Relax Me
Yoga keeps me calm, so I'd be impressed if you thought to send a yoga instructor to my apartment for private sessions. . .
6. Edify Me
Reading is a passion of mine, so a gathering with a couple of my favorite authors, especially Jared Diamond (Guns, Germs, and Steel) and Robin McKinley (The Blue Sword) would make for an exceptional evening.
7. Please My Palate
Hiring a personal chef to prepare meals for the few nights a week I am home would be unforgettable.
See, guys, mere thoughtfulness isn't enough. 'Cause thoughtful doesn't cut it, apparently, unless you're rich.
[If] her almost impossibly over-the-top list of turn-ons is some kind of Kaufmanesque joke, she's also the coolest woman on Earth. But it's not beyond the realm of possibility that she's completely serious when she insinuates that the simple gestures she longs for all involve the use of an American Express Black Card.
Go read the whole post; I especially like Chez's counter-list of things that Erin could do to impress him.