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Happy National Gorilla Suit Day.

Where did they stun him?

We have returned from our all-too-brief sojourn in the fair state of Kentucky, where we drank and ate and listened to great bluegrass and generally helped our dear friend Tizzie celebrate A Momentous Birthday, together with a slew of her friends and family. 

Missed, at the time, in the general rush of packing and work stress and whatnot, was this delightful article in the Times, in which Calvin Trillin (one of my very favorite writers) reviews the Lexus LS 460 L's Advanced Parking Guidance System.  His qualifications?  Trillin is, of course, the founding editor of "Beautiful Spot: A Magazine of Parking" (the first issue came out in 1964, and the second one is delayed due to "some production difficulties") and the author of "Tepper Isn't Going Out", "which is considered by most scholars to have been the first parking novel."

If I were asked to name my talent — talent, that is, in the way the Miss America pageant uses the word talent, as in “Miss West Virginia will now do her talent” — I would say “parallel parking.” For the second issue of Beautiful Spot: A Magazine of Parking, I’ve been preparing an article on how I came up with the term “slicing the bread” to describe maneuvering into a spot that leaves only the width of a bread slice between your bumpers and the bumpers of the cars ahead of and behind you. In a later issue, I intend to discuss “breaking the matzo” — getting into a spot so small that a matzo would crack if you tried to place it between the relevant bumpers. Just for the record, the last time I broke a matzo was May 1994, on Riverside Drive, between 83rd and 84th; unfortunately, there were no witnesses.

Anyway:  Go read the review.  And make sure you watch the accompanying video.

Art, originally uploaded by Vidiot.

Outside the American Sign Museum in Cincinnati.

More content coming real-soon-now, I swear.

Going Home, originally uploaded by Vidiot.

(By the way, you're warmly invited to check out my photoblog.)

Two reflections on current TV ads, drawn from yesterday's football telecasts:

• UPS is using The Postal Service as background music in its new ad campaign.  I thought the band (The Postal Service) was all buddy-buddy with its namesake (the United States Postal Service...which even sells Postal Service CDs on its website.)  (!)  Guess not.
• Kentucky Fried Chicken is selling Buffalo chicken sandwiches with "Sweet Home Alabama" as backing music.  Is this some kind of puzzle that we, the American consuming public, are meant to figure out?  I note that a line drawn between Buffalo and Muscle Shoals passes pretty close to Lexington, KY.  Is there a massive cache of Snackers and Original Recipe chicken (not to mention those weird, oddly repellent parfait dessert thingies) hidden somewhere nearby?

I'm no advertising professional, but it seems to me that cognitive dissonance is something advertisers would want to avoid, not create.

(Next up: Vidiot's comic observations on airplane food, voicemail, and driving on the parkway.)

The iPhone: A User's Guide

The next time you hear someone bloviating about how Northeasterners, Yankees, or blue-staters not "supporting the troops", show them this.

Do you know who wins in a feud between Geraldo Rivera and Keith Olbermann?

Yes, that's right.  The American viewing public.

WTF PAPD?, originally uploaded by Vidiot.

Huh?

How could they tell?

How not to apply for a job.

Danny Kaye was a stone cold genius:

Oooooh.  Check out the Year in Construction Pictures (via Dethroner.)

Happy New Year, everyone.

I know, as a somewhat self-respecting blogger, this is the time when I'm supposed to sum up 2006 and tell you What It All Means and Look Ahead To The Bright Shining Future Beyond.  But I got no clue, other than to say that for me, 2006 was a pretty good year, and I'm looking forward to a good 2007.  And I hope that it finds you safe, well, and free.

I also have an announcement:  introducing Useless Beauty, my brand-new photoblog.  Very much a work in progress, but I'm looking forward to showcasing the photos that I like the best on their own separate site.   Enjoy...and feel free, as always, to comment.