telescreen.org

Left as a comment over at Czeltic Girl, but I like it so I'm re-publishing it here:

Vidiot's Grumpy, Snobbish, And Cantankerous Yet Iron-Clad Rules of Drinking:

1.  It is absolutely not permitted to order a mixed drink when one doesn't have the foggiest idea what it contains.

2.  It is not permitted to order a drink solely because of its outré or "shocking" name, because it's illegal in parts of the world, or because it has been set on fire.

3.  Beer belongs in a glass. 

4.  Ice belongs in many fine places, but not in Scotch.

5.  Same deal with soda.

6.  Pay no further attention to anyone who uses the phrase "bruise the gin."

7.  If you can legally buy alcohol, you're too old for drinking games.

8.  It is not permitted to drink an alcoholic beverage through a straw.

9.  A bar that only has plastic disposable shot glasses is one to be avoided.

10.  A Martini contains gin and vermouth and sometimes bitters.  It does not contain vodka, apples, or chocolate syrup.  Those other drinks may be acceptable on occasion, but they are not Martinis.

11.  A Martini contains gin and vermouth. Do not waste valuable drinking time by spritzing the gin with vermouth, waving the vermouth bottle around, reciting incantations directed at the vermouth, or other such foofaw. If all you want is a glass of cold gin, simply order accordingly.

(Orange bitters are a fine addition.)

Actually, that leads me to:

12.   The use of aromatic bitters in cocktails is heartily encouraged, and in some cases, absolutely required.

UPDATE:  Brittney, a former bartender, adds #13:

13.   Frozen drinks only happen on the beach.  Not in bars anywhere else.

And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

From the Boston Globe:

WASHINGTON -- President Bush this week asserted that he has the executive authority to disobey a new law in which Congress has set minimum qualifications for future heads of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. . .

To shield FEMA from cronyism, Congress established new job qualifications for the agency's director in last week's homeland security bill. The law says the president must nominate a candidate who has ``a demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management" and ``not less than five years of executive leadership."

Bush signed the homeland-security bill on Wednesday morning. Then, hours later, he issued a signing statement saying he could ignore the new restrictions. Bush maintains that under his interpretation of the Constitution, the FEMA provision interfered with his power to make personnel decisions.

The law, Bush wrote, ``purports to limit the qualifications of the pool of persons from whom the president may select the appointee in a manner that rules out a large portion of those persons best qualified by experience and knowledge to fill the office."

Those don't seem like particularly onerous qualifications for someone to lead FEMA -- five years experience in executive leadership, and "demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management"?  I'd wager that 99% of police and fire chiefs in most big towns clear this bar.

Besides, it's not like the last guy was such a spectacular wow...

Oh, and by the way, Bush is also defying the law (and Congress, and not least the Constitution -- remember that old "quaint" document?) by saying he can cover up privacy violations.  From the AP:

President Bush. . .says he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department’s reports about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watchlists.

In the law Bush signed Wednesday, Congress stated no one but the privacy officer could alter, delay or prohibit the mandatory annual report on Homeland Security department activities that affect privacy, including complaints.

See?  He doesn't care about your privacy, your safety, or indeed your life.  He cares about raw, naked power, pure and simple.

 

Things I didn't know about the war.

Headline from TPMMuckraker.com:

*snicker*

What waterboarding looks like.

And what exactly it may consist of.

Read these links.  This is what your Congress just voted in favor of, and what your President is going to sign into law.

UPDATE:  This WaPo article on waterboarding's history is a must-read.  Did you know that when a Japanese soldier waterboarded an American during WWII, the U.S. government charged him with war crimes and sentenced him to 15 years hard labor?

Wow.  Big bombshells in the Foley story, and I was too busy covering them for the jay-oh-bee to cover them here.  Linky goodness abounds, lots of it from the TPM empire, which is kicking ass staying on top of this story.  Here's a good rundown of what happened yesterday.

I'd say Josh Marshall is right:  look for the GOP to try as hard as they can to discredit Kirk Fordham (and probably, by extension, all gay people) in the next forty-eight hours.

And you're most likely going to hear lots of Republican party hacks (and their shills, like the wingnut bloggers and Fox News) say that this is all done for political gain by the Dems.  They're already saying it's the fault of too much tolerance, or if that doesn't work, it's George Soro's fault.  (Or that Foley was a Democrat, as Fox News labeled him -- not once, not twice, but three times.)

But guess what?  The whistleblower was a Republican.  I'm glad to see that someone in the Republican party is willing to pay more than lip service to things like "morality" and "values." 

Oh, and the WaPo is having an online chat at two this afternoon with the president of the 2003 page class.  So, just like Mark Foley, you can find out what it's like to chat online with a former page.  (Probably best not to log on as "Maf54", though...)

UPDATE:  Hastert drops Bill Clinton's name.  Shameless.  (And didn't Dick Morris, after his sex scandal, become a reliable Republican consultant/pundit, notable for his hatred of the Clintons?  Seems like Denny's got his wires crossed.)

UPDATE #2:  Yup, the Clintons are responsible for Foley's sexual predation and the GOP coverup.

R.I.P. Johnny Apple.  I'll miss his writing.

Heh.  The George Allen Insult Generator.

For when he can't put himself into a coma.

...it's a Fox News Alert, then stand by for a Fox News Alert, and stay tuned for more Fox News Alerts as the day goes on...

Sure glad I'm not a GOP flack right now:

A Times reporter happened to be on that Embraer business jet that collided with a 737 last week over Brazil, and filed this amazing story.

Foleygate is moving fast -- faster than I can remember any Washington scandal progressing.

Turns out a watchdog group provided the Foley e-mails to the FBI...in July.

UPDATE:  Foley sought a meeting with one of the pages he was chatting with.

ANOTHER UPDATE:  Connections to Scientology, even!  (Is Foley in Scientology's Clearwater detox center?  Wonkette wants to know.)

YET ANOTHER UPDATE:  Foley's chief of staff tried to cut a deal with Brian Ross at ABC News.  And that same link shows that Ross got the incriminating IMs from former pages, not from CREW.  Does Hastert want to go after those kids?

YOU GUESSED IT, KIDS -- IT'S ANOTHER UPDATE:  FBI acknowledges that they got the e-mails in July, but didn't start an investigation.

House Speaker Hastert removes last week's "Keep Kids Safe In Cyberspace" events from his website.

Down the memory hole...

White House defends child sex predator, dismisses Foley scandal as "simply naughty e-mails."

UPDATE:  Tony Snow backs away from his earlier statement.

So it wasn't just the only Democrat on the House Page Board that wasn't notified of the Foley scandal in advance...the other Republican wasn't notified either.  So only Shimkus knew about it, and didn't think it was important enough to tell the other members of the page oversight board.

UPDATE:  Democrat on House Page Board still being cut out of the loop.

George Allen is in trouble again -- this time not because of his racist comments, but because he apologized for them.

It's just so difficult for him -- he's pandering to racists, but trying not to come across as one.

Dennis Hastert is now calling for a criminal investigation into l'affaire Foley (never mind that one is apparently already underway.)  Some of the phrasing, though, brings some wonderings forth:

I also request that the Department undertake an investigation into who had specific knowledge of the content of any sexually explicit communications between Mr. Foley and any former or current House pages and what actions such individuals took, if any, to provide them to law enforcement. I request that the scope of your investigation include any and all individuals who may have been aware of this matter-be they Members of Congress, employees of the House of Representatives, or anyone outside the Congress.

This looks, to me, like the Republicans are going to try their standard go-after-the-leaker trick when bad news gets leaked.  (Memo to the GOP:  Leaks wouldn't be such the problem for you if you'd just quit doing embarrassing/wrong/venal/illegal things in secret.)  Are they going to try to pin this on some Democrat?  Or a left-leaning special interest group?  Is ABC News's Brian Ross going to get a subpoena?

Timeline of the Foley scandal.

UPDATE:  Ouch.  Apparently GOP leadership was warning pages to steer clear of Foley in 2001.

Interesting NYT article today on Damien Hirst's famous Conceptual Art piece with the dead shark floating in a formaldehyde tank.  What do you do when the shark starts to decay? 

Why, you replace the shark.  But where do you get another shark, how do you preserve it, and how do you get it from Australia to Connecticut via London?