telescreen.org

I think I'll pass on the obvious (and uber-tasteless) joke about how maybe, just maybe, she should have skipped the bus:

(via lex icon.)

Okay, confessional time! (Because all the cool bloggers are doing it...)

(I've bolded the ones I've done)

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (nope, not yet, but that's a good idea...)
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease

A pop quiz from Atrios: Who said the following?

"I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged."

I'm pretty sure it's not who you think it is.

Damage from Hurricane Ivan, Raleigh-Durham International Airport, September 26, 2004:

I see (from reading BoingBoing) that the Kleptones have released another mashup tour de force. Their Yoshimi Battles the Hip-Hop Robots was great, but I may like the new A Night at the Hip-Hopera even better. Waxy has a list of the major song samples and is mirroring the entire album. (Check out track #12, "Sniff." My favorite so far...but track #10, "Play", may be the best argument for time-shifting vocals ever.)

Cory also dug up this interview with Eric Kleptone that may be of interest.

More blogging coming real soon now, I promise. Plus, I know that my archives are all b0rked. Will try to get 'em fixed pronto.

UPDATE: Hey, the archives got fixed!

The BuyCostumes.com Presidential Mask Election Predictor notes that the candidate whose face sells more Halloween masks historically will win the election. Bush is ahead right now, which doesn't seem to be a good sign.

But then something occurred to me: Aren't people buying Bush masks not because they want him to win, but because the prospect of a second term is really fucking scary?

Best. eBay feedback. Ever:

The Lord only granted me one child, and she died. Anyway, you were great. A+A+

Do you know what part of a dog needs scratchin'? Do ya? It's their BRISKET.

The box you sent was open-proof. I had to use a BIG KNIFE and act MENACING. Bad!

Corn on the cob is nice, because the cob never shouts GET ME BEER, WOMAN!

So one monkey may not stop no show, but one chimp can undermine our democracy. (QuickTime movie here -- hopefully they'll post more.)

It's true, because Fox News said so.

'Violence surges even as conditions improve' in Iraq.

How exactly is that an improvement, then?

"I now pronounce you corpse and yak. You may tug affectionately on her teats."

For the past three years, I've had my cell-phone service through Sprint. All the while, I've heard scores of Sprint-customer-service horror stories, but I figured they were either overreacting or that I led a charmed life, because I never had any problems. Pretty good network coverage, friendly phone reps, and even when I called with something weird they would handle it with cheery, efficient aplomb.

Until I moved.

Looks like Elvis Costello doesn't like the FBI warning on the back cover of his latest album. Just great. (via BoingBoing.)

We've lost "the ultimate auteur" and "the first feminist American director."

R.I.P., Russ Meyer.

Sorry for the relative lack of writing (or my anti-Bush ranting, which is what usually passes for writing around these parts) lately. Linky goodness is about the best I can do, sometimes.

I moved this past weekend, and I've either been busy, exhausted, or without 'Net access. (People have been asking why I've been twitchy lately.) I'm writing this while poaching off a neighbor's Wi-Fi connection...hopefully I can re-establish my own soon.

But life is good -- my movers were great, I'm in a nicer apartment with a better location, and I have the best girlfriend in the world.

Don't mess with me; I'm in a militia.

And if you're a male resident of New York State and are between the ages of 17 and 45, you are too.

ADDENDUM: Jason updates us on the militia laws.

From This Is Broken:

What marketing genius came up with the name for the "Isadora Scarf" ?

Fodor's tells us how to take travel pictures like a pro. (via Right This Way, Fodor's very own (and very good) blog.)

Horsehead Pillow...for your favorite movie buff. (via MeFi.)

I had jury duty for the first time today.

Actually, that's not quite right. It was more like "get-up-way-earlier-than-you're-used-to-and-go-all-the-way-to-freaking-Jamaica-and-wait-around-all-day" duty, but I doubt they'd get much of a crowd if they put that on the summons. (Plus, they would have had to use a much smaller typeface.)

I was kind of hoping I'd get picked for a jury, but as it turned out, they picked no one...called no names and empaneled no juries. New York was evidently seized today by a sudden spate of concord, goodwill, and amity. (Either that, or it was a warmish Friday during Rosh Hashanah and no one felt like being at the courthouse.)

It was pretty painless, actually -- the court officer in charge of the central jury room was very cool, with a dry, understated, witty sense of humor, which really got everyone in a good mood. (When they excused us at the end of the day, people were laughing, joking with each other, and saying "see you in six years!" It was the closest I've ever been to one of those "Metropolitan Diary" columns in the Times.) And they showed us fine cinematic entertainment! First up was a video, hosted by Ed Bradley and Diane Sawyer, about how juries were the best system around and so much better than trial by ordeal. (Though wouldn't you want to see, say, Martha Stewart bound and tossed in a pond to see if she sank and was therefore innocent? C'mon, admit it.) Then, after the 22-minute commercial for Our Jury System (tm), we were treated to "Sweet Home Alabama" , got a nice long lunch break, and then saw "Mr. Mom." Fortunately I had a book. A big long book. And I got through 138 pages of it, plus the Times and Daily News. And I didn't have to work today.

So why do I have to wait six years to be called again? Heck, I'd do it every couple of weeks if I had the chance.

(In other news, Blogfucker is back.)

Amazon asked Ann Coulter "What are the top five books you'd recommend to become an informed voter?"

Her response? Four books she wrote. And the Bible.

A wee touch of the monomania, perhaps?

(via XQUZYPHYR.)

Kevin Drum has a nice summary of what we know about Bush's Guard service, even if the CBS documents are fake:

What we know for sure is that Bush began having problems flying in 1972; refused his physical; was grounded; disappeared for five months; probably disappeared for an entire year; failed to sign up with a unit in Boston for his final year of service; and got an honorable discharge anyway.

And he's never come clean about it. We don't need CBS's memos to remind us of that. We already knew it.

Incidentally, check out this interesting little nugget, stuffed at the bottom of a WaPo story on the CBS documents' origins:

In a related development, White House press secretary Scott McClellan hinted that more documents regarding Bush's National Guard service may soon be released. Asked whether officials in the White House have seen unreleased documents, McClellan called that "a very real possibility." Other officials with knowledge of the situation said more documents had indeed been uncovered and would be released in the coming days.

I'll be mighty interested in seeing what those documents say.

(And if anyone in Rove's office happens to be reading this, here's a link that may help.)

Terrorists landed in the US last month. (via MeFi.)

Ivan, as seen from the International Space Station. Wow. (via MeFi.)

If it is demonstrated that profound behavioral problems marred Bush's wartime performance and even cut short his service, it could seriously challenge Bush's essential appeal as a military steward and guardian of societal values. It could also explain the incomplete, contradictory and shifting explanations provided by the Bush camp for the President's striking invisibility from the military during the final two years of his six-year military obligation. And it would explain the savagery and rapidity of the attack on the CBS documents.

Why did Bush leave Texas?