Turns out that the P-gon pays for free plastic surgery for US troops. As reported in the New Yorker a few weeks ago:

“Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible,” Dr. Bob Lyons, the chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center, said recently, in his office in San Antonio. It is true: personnel in all four branches of the military and members of their immediate families can get face-lifts, nose jobs, breast enlargements, liposuction, or any other kind of elective cosmetic alteration, at taxpayer expense. (For breast enlargements, patients must supply their own implants.) There is no limit on the number of cosmetic surgeries one soldier can have, although, Lyons said, “we don’t do extreme makeovers in the military.” The commanding officer has to approve the time off for any soldier who is having surgery. For most procedures, there’s at least a ten-day recovery period, and while soldiers are recuperating they’re on paid medical leave rather than vacation.

A Defense Department spokeswoman confirmed the existence of the plastic-surgery benefit. According to the Army, between 2000 and 2003 its doctors performed four hundred and ninety-six breast enlargements and a thousand three hundred and sixty-one liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents. In the first three months of 2004, it performed sixty breast enhancements and two hundred and thirty-one liposuctions.

Now while I'm all about improving the lot in life of our men and women in uniform (increased benefits for them -- or at least not cutting soldiers' and veterans' benefits -- would certainly be nice. I'm looking at you, Messrs. Bush & Former SecDef Cheney), this seems a bit much...and maybe, just possibly, perhaps not the very best use of taxpayer dollars.

As an editorial in the CSM notes, "this new method appalls. To lure recruits with promises of slimmer thighs seems so 'Sex in the City' meets 'Robocop.' Suddenly the slogan 'Be all you can be' takes on a whole new meaning." The editorial goes on to say:

As any serious cosmetic surgeon will explain, liposuction has nothing to do with the reconstructive surgery necessary to prepare a limb for a prosthetic. Knowing how to enlarge or reduce a breast isn't really going to come in handy when it comes time to heal faces that have been seared by roadside bombs. To date, nearly 5,500 troops have been wounded in Iraq; a tummy tuck won't help one of them.

It would be interesting to hear the Defense Department explain this nifty bonus to those raising money to send used Kevlar vests to loved ones in Iraq, as police officers in Marin County, Calif., did for National Guard troops.

Taxpayer money would better serve reservists who have returned not only missing a limb but also lacking the health benefits their regularly enlisted colleagues get. Taxpayer money would better serve families of National Guard troops who have lost their main source of income because of extended stays in service in Iraq. Taxpayer money would better serve veterans who have seen a decrease in benefits and an increase in homelessness during this administration.

We do no honor to our soldiers with this frivolous benefit - but we do dishonor those who struggle to survive both overseas and long after they have come home.

Amen to that.

Now I see that a skinflick mogul (or, as Reuters refers to him, a "porn impresario") is offering $500 to military women who are opposed to breast implants:

A group supporting natural breasts has staged a street protest in Hollywood against a U.S. military policy offering free breast implants to female soldiers.

The group, led by porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, said the military should spend its money on "bullets, not boobs."

"I think girls should have natural boobs and natural beauty," Carey said after unveiling her own breasts in the protest at an Army recruiting office on Sunset Boulevard.

Women should be happy with their bodies and what they're blessed with," the 24-year-old star of 37 porn films said.

Her words and deeds drew cheers from a small group of men who had gathered to watch the event on Wednesday. Passing cars sounded their horns in response to a sign that read "Honk if you love natural breasts."

Carey, who wore green camouflage shorts and bikini top, assured all that her own breasts were real.

The protest was organised by porn impresario Mark Kulkis, president of Kick Ass Pictures, the company for whom Carey stars. . .

"I'm personally opposed to boob jobs, but more so when they use our tax dollars for them," he said. "It's an issue near and dear to my heart."

Kulkis' porno films come with a promise that none of his female stars have breast implants

He and Carey presented a $500 (274 pound) cheque to Jennifer Zandstra of Commerce, Texas, who was honourably discharged from the U.S. Army two weeks ago and answered a Kick Ass announcement seeking military women opposed to breast implants.

"Thank you for coming up here and thank you most of all for keeping your real breasts," Kulkis told Zandstra.

Carey invited her to star in her next film, "Mary Carey Rules: No. 6," but Zandstra, now a college student, politely said, "No, thank you."

Forget this "War on Terror" BS. Fight the real enemy...silicone.

Comments

[tizzie]

Actually, this makes sense to me. Don't war doctors have to do a lot of reconstructive surgery? It's probably a good way to practice that, outside of a critical emergency situation like sewing somebody's limb back on.

[Vidiot]

I know nothing about cosmetic or reconstructive surgery, but the CSM editorial above does say:

As any serious cosmetic surgeon will explain, liposuction has nothing to do with the reconstructive surgery necessary to prepare a limb for a prosthetic. Knowing how to enlarge or reduce a breast isn't really going to come in handy when it comes time to heal faces that have been seared by roadside bombs.

Then again, it is the Christian Science Monitor we're talking about here ([/snark]), and I have no idea if the editorial's author knows what she's talking about either.

It'd be interesting to get some perspective on this from someone who knows about matters military and/or medical. I'll ask around.

[tizzie]

Granted it's probably not the MOST helpful stuff, but the cutting, the anesthesia, stitching up, whatever, can't be all THAT different, especially when it comes to scarring, etc.

It just seems like a lot of boob job envy to me.